the tricky thing about where you are is the extreme fine line you have to walk. Im not talking about changing you Direct Deposit or having your own account or withdrawing cutting her off etc. Im talking about taking control. Of the budget. of yourself. of your time. of doing what you want. of being able to handle it and forcing her to notice it. and then give her opportunities to join you without being affected by rejection. When we seperated the first time I put x ON all (sorta) my accounts. I wasnt being supplicating by doing it though, in fact I was being quite.... dismissive. Initially it came off as being open and protective because of the situation, serious 180's from my prior fiscal dealings with her. Later during the second seperation it just a complete sneer.
She is being affected by your non verbal rejection. That is actually a positive, though her way of handling it is not. I think you should shine a bright light on HER reactions to your non verbal rejections, and point it out to her very matter of factly.
Its not just fiscally. How you do any action is more important then the action. People fail to understand this all the time. Those people say things like 'but I just did/said what he did' maybe verbally.. but no they didnt say the same thing, because it wasnt 'heard' the same way.
