NOP, Thank you for your wise words and encouragement. I wish I had the level of awareness I have learned from you and from the experiences here. I once said that trying to figure out what's going on in my marriage is like putting together a puzzle...I now have uncovered some more pieces, and it's coming together and making sense, but not in a way I would have expected.
LFL, One thing I can say with certainty is that I will never go back to the way things were. I have learned so much these past few years about intimacy and communication. I will never take my H for granted again, and I really see how much I am willing to go the extra mile for him. I feel he doesn't want to lose me either. Things have been coming out in bits and pieces, and I believe NOP is right, that the guilt was consuming him. He told me that his shoulder which had chronically bothered him is suddenly better...over the past few months he's standing straighter and his eyes are clear. I have also noticed a drop in the amt of alcohol he drinks in the past yr.
Lil, Wow, I didn't notice that...most definitely a Freudian slip. I really didn't move with him...I was held back in nostalgia/depressive land, as you might imagine I would with my 4 tendencies. And thank you for the hug. I feel almost giddy with relief ( when I am not about to strangle him). He's really beginning to be there with me, and I with him. Time will tell, however, if we are really able to make it through after so much bad history. But, believe it or not, I am thinking positively.
