I agree with you that invoking jealousy may be a cheeseless tunnel, though I don’t think it is completely cheeseless, but now may not be the right time to wage that battle. Jealousy may be better addressed after she has expressed some commitment to stay in the marriage. Right now she is threatening to leave the marriage, so jealousy isn’t going to help resolve that. Save it for later.
Just to clarify: I never suggested that HD invoke jealousy. I only meant what cobra went on to say, namely, that her jealousy is evidence that she still considers him attractive.
And possibly-- although this may be a leap-- that she cares what happens to the marriage.
Any action that HD takes is predicated on the fact that she cares what happens to the marriage. If she doesn't, then all of this is moot.
Edited to add:
There's nothign that HD can do to "make himself attractive" to her, i.e. chores, parenting, getting along. I'm saying he's ALREADY attractive to her, hence the jealousy.
Her coldness isn't caused by the fact that she doesn't think he's attractive. Her jealousy is evidence she DOES think he's attractive... at least that's my hypothesis.
OTOH maybe it's just a power/pride thing. I don't want this old toy, but you can't have it either?
