Yesterday H and I went out again and we had another R discussion... again. Well, i just had to put my 2 cents in again because he brought it up. It's funny, I was the one who used to always want to talk about the R and now I don't and he does. What gives??? Anyways I told him I know they talk everyday and i told him what I really thought of her (no need to repeat, you can just imaging) and I told an emotional affair hurts just as much as a physical affair and if it continues too long - I asked him "Don't you know it will eventually ruin us?". He answered yes.
Low and below, she called again today... but it was also a great day for me or us. H called me this morning, twice. I did not answer the first time and he called a couple of hours later. This is good. I was not home when he got home and when I came home he was just finishing up the dishes... this is very good. H doing dishes??? wow! I took notice and thanked him right away. He is starting to call me honey... this is great. I think we are making some progress and I am so glad me telling him what I really think of her and their sitch did not ruin things (I think).
I am so hoping for a day that he says to her... "We can't do this anymore because I do not want to hurt my wife anymore". (because I have made it clear to him that what they are still doing right now hurts me still).
I actually feel really good today. More secure about him not bolting, but still not secure about them starting things up again.
I have been trying so hard, but I am worried because I think sometimes I try so hard and put everything into him and the R, I see myself losing myself a little again. How do you keep the balance? I feel like if I let up on things, it will go back to a bad R. I certainly can't keep all that I am doing up forever. I will exhaust myself. Any help in this area?
And Alamari, I wanted to add that I could not believe that you said what he saw in the OW and he said something like... "She makes me feel good about me". My H practically said the same thing to me. I could not believe it. It must be true. (Not to be mean, but I cannot see anything else in this OW). So I have been trying to do just that, make him feel good about him. Thanks.
