Choc, I've suggested this to you before, but don't recall what you said: Have you considered a WWME weekend? It is all about learning to communicate with your S, and it is set up so that the conversations between you two are in private, no one else at all hears them.
Absent that, I found a book that I thought was very good regarding learning to communicate, which I've mentioned here before: "How to Stay Married & Love It: Solving the Puzzle of a SoulMate Marriage" by Nancy Lundrum.
Learning to communicate is the first step toward improving your marriage.
