I don't think it's too late for you and your husband. I don't consider too late until a divorce is finalized (mine went for 6 months and then my husband changed his mind), but even then I've met quite a few people who did go through with divorce, were divorced a few years, and then remarried!!!! But being the hottie you describe, I think your husband could very well end up losing you to some lucky guy if he decides to go through with a divorce.
Oh well....
In the meantime, give him space and focus on your kids. Keep GALing, looking great and work on PMA (positive mental attitude). Tell your husband you want him happy and wish him luck... and keep detaching! The best advice I got was give A LOT of leash!!!! Don't talk about divorce, just live your life and focus on the kids. Go out and have fun, get your nails done, hang out with girlfriends!! Don't date, but meet people, flirt and enjoy life. On the other hand, do research lawyers and other things just in case. It never hurts to be prepared. I made sure I had the very best lawyer possible. And yet, I didn't hire him until I absolutely had to (20 days after being served with the papers! I strung out my divorce as long as possible!!!!).
One more thng, with his own business make sure you have records of everything, take notes, etc... Hopefully you won't need it, but it always feels better to be prepared than taken by surprise. Hide whatever information you gather and notes you take so neither he or the kids realize what you are doing. This is for your security.
Does your D15 visit dad? Make sure he takes the kids out to dinner at least once or twice a week. Make sure on those occassions you look hot and he finds out you're going out. But don't tell him it's with girlfriends or that you're just headed to the bookstore and Starbucks. Keep some mystery!
And absolutely no more relationship or OW talk!!! Just tell him you want him to be happy and he's free to pursue that. By doing this he will really have to confront if what he is choosing is making him happy. Losing you and the kids will force him to figure that out.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
