Mrs.cac4 thanks for posting the following items in bold. When he appeared to view me with contempt, he was NOT desirable. When he blew off things that were important to me but not to him, he was NOT desirable. When he refused to acknowledge that I was upset that he blew off things that were important to me, he was NOT desirable.......
Questions for mrs.cac4 or mr.cac4. I understand a couple having different levels of importance on what they are interested in, thinks is important, and supporting the OP is necessary even if s/he doesn't see that importance.
What do either one of you think you would do it the other has a want related to or bordering on OCD, or something you think is extreme.
One case is, my w likes pets and will donate $$ to rescue pets in a combat area of the world, but isn't interested in doing much for the local animal shelter.
I posted this example, not to be critical of my W/BB, but to give a situation where I lose respect for her practical reasoning process. I have no way of knowing where the money goes if we/she donates money to some unknown fundraiser. If I do something for and at the local shelter, I see what is or isn't being done for the animals.
I think I already answered this, but this is what he has been doing lately: TALKING to me (rather than looking at the floor or the TV while I talk); TALKING to me (rather than making sarcastic comments); TELLING me what he needs--in plain English (rather than the sarcastic comments that I need to interpret); being KIND and LOVING (rather than cold and distant).
Talking to me, rather than..... I think I have this as a goal. What did either one of you do, or would have done if your situation would have included?....
Problem areas are; Staying on track, sticking to the topic. That is a big one for us at times.
(rather than making sarcastic comments) I give compliments; she takes some part of the compliment as a criticism.
being KIND and LOVING (rather than cold and distant I am not cold and distant, but I am self-protective.
For the first time in I-don't-know-how-long I am feeling adored by my H, and it feels really good.
Sometimes I can see this in BB, but often it's timing or situational variables that interfere with the outcome. What works one time is not necessarily what works after a few implementations.
Mrs. Cac4, your participation on this forum, from the LD perspective, is greatly appreciated.
