Update: H and I have been discussing the past and it is not pretty. On the one hand, I am happy that he is more comfortable with me and willing to express himself; on the other I am sickened by some stuff I have learned about. Apparently my H had been involved in getting attention from women at work for a very long time. He called it an addiction. He said it wasn't about anything physical...it was about feeling desire, which he didn't feel from me. He dates this from about 7 yrs ago, when he moved to this new house. It was a house he wanted, and I gave in because he kept saying how it would be better for the kids, but underneath I was resentful and also depressed about leaving my old neighbors, and the home in which my kids were born. The move did represent a low in our marriage. I was starting to get it together, and I thought he was on board with me, as we did a lot of work on the new house. But secretly he was flirting and having fun with several women at work and was off in la-la land. There were lunches and phone calls and he gave money to one woman whom he felt sorry for. He feels disgusted and manipulated as well and says he is happy he has me back, that all he really wants is me and the kids.
I came to the board under false pretenses...I was seemingly this HD woman, but what I really was responding to was the emotional distance and rejection of my H. My desire level now seems more balanced and more like myself. I feel our marriage is in a much better place, but I wonder if we can really overcome the past and if I can trust in the future.
