No I haven't. I just posted to BND about what I want to say to him. I don't want to argue. I want to be reassured. I want to feel safe with him. I need that before I can let my guard down to really fully love him the way I want to. I am still really really hurt and so are our children. I don't know how to get through to him without him reacting negatively and right now, I have so little tolerance for crap from him, I don't know what to say. But I do feel overwhelmed, and sometimes like an idiot for putting up with all this. God, If I could just know or hear him say he "gets it" and won't do this sh-- again, I know I could try harder and better. I guess I'll try to take Gilda Radner's advice in her memoir before she died, when she wrote about ambiguity in life. "Embrace the ambiguity" because we all have it to some degree. So, let's see if THAT works... j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
