Choc, I'm with MrsCAC on this. You may think you are talking in her LL, but are you really? Think of it as a foreign language that you are not fluent in. It is really easy to think you are saying one thing yet convey a totally different message than what you intended. Attempting to talk in another's LL is no different. It takes practice as well as feedback to let you know if you are hitting the mark or not. Unfortunately that feedback can be difficult to understand or even see if you are not actively looking for it.
A few weeks ago you told us of an exchange at the dinner table where you said you don't show jealously toward advances at yoru W by other men. That exchange was a glimpse of her feelings. My friend, she is hurting at least as much as you are and she's trying to tell you in ways she knows how. You two need to learn how to talk to each other, and by that I mean learn to share your feelings. It works. It is hard to do, no make that very hard to do. It takes a conscious effort and is uncomfortable, but it is how you will make headway. One of you has to break the ice and start the communication off. Since you are the one here, you win that prize.
Are you in counseling? Have you tried a Marriage Encounter Weekend, or maybe Retrovueille (sp)? You may need some help learning to communicate intimately with one another.
