My wife's LLs are definitely "words of affirmation" and "quality time." Followed by "Acts of Service" and "gift giving" and WAY dead last is "Physical Touch." She beams when I compliment her, and I especially try to do it front of other people, especially her parents (and especially her father), as their approval is important to her, and their style is to give it very grudgingly. (They love her very much, they're just not big "touchy-feely" types, and her father is also hopelessly chauvinistic).
We've been married 22 years. It is only in the last year or two that I've finally cut way back on the "quality time" with her, and I still give her many, many "words of affirmation." For her beauty, but I also make sure to compliment her on her new job, the job she does as a mother, the great daughter she is to her aging parents, etc., as she has mentioned before that she wants to be seen as more than just beautiful.
So that's a long way of saying "Yeah, I've cut back recently," but only on one of the two. "Quality time" is just tough for me, as frankly, she's not that much fun to be around. She takes "high maintenance" to a new level, and she can also be a real beotch sometimes. So the past couple of years, I've focused more on GAL, as I've coached my boys' baseball teams and worked out and stuff. But I still give her lots of WOAs.
I do think the "jealousy" comments are her freaking out over my lack of initiation the past five years. Like Piglet says to Pooh, she wants to "Just be sure of me," but it's a weird way to show it.
If she wants to be sure of me, an un-asked-for hug, or a full kiss on the lips, or even a back scratch would do it. And she knows that.
Sorry for hijack, CeMar, but it's not like you answer anyone's questions anyway.
