Valentines day massacre

[LoginName]

OL, still might be worth bringing up that she should be the one to leave.

Where do you life and what kind of work do you do and do you like to do? I don't not if you want to share that info, but maybe someone here can help you find a new job. I haven't seen that done here, and it might be futile or even a bad idea. Just a thought.

What's with us LBSers? Here we are, in a terrible situation, just got our guts spilled on the floor and our hearts smashed, and we still say thankyou and put smiley's on our posts. Are we just too nice? We must be near to sainthood. OL, I'm impressed by how you've maintained so far. (H@ll, I'm impressed with myself too, ;-) You must have a lot of strength. You're going to need it, but isn't it good to know it's there? This can't break us. If it could, it would have already. You're going to come through this (even though sometimes you may wish you wouldn't. Sorry, but you've got no choice. You are strong, and you will survive).

Last nigth I was trying to think of all I've learned over the past 6 months and how to condense it. It's actually pretty easy to condense. The most important things are (anyone and everyone, yell if you disagree):
1. Take care of yourself. Find a way to sleep and eat.
2. Detach. Don't let her see you angry. Try not to let her see how hurt you may be. Don't lose control around her. Come her, go to friends, take a walk to express yourself, not in front of her.
3. Get a life (GAL). Do for yourself. Make yourself happy. This doesn't mean being selfish or not living up to your wedding vows (even if she is breaking them). It means finding things to do that make you happy and doing them. Don't do them trying to impress or change her. Do it for you.
4. You can't really understand her now. Good idea not to try. She is in her own land. You need to be in yours. See points 1,2, and 3.

I think you said you've got the DR book. Read Last Resort Technique (LRT) and do it. Really. Even if your situation starts to improve, remember LRT. You are in a critical spot, and I think only LRT can help you. Only detaching can help. You can get support in how to do that here.

You seem to already be doing a pretty good in dealing with this. Keep going.