He said he's seeing someone new

[Ophelia]

- maybe I just have to believe that in order for someone to do that, they would have to be completely oblivious to that, or else they are truly just pure evil.

If I had the means to contact OW, I'd be tempted to do so not to blast her for anything, but to just set the record straight. To just say that I don't know what she's been told, but here's where I stand on what happened. At least that way I'd know that she really does know where I'm at in all this. If she then still wants to be with my H, then at least I'll have a better idea of the woman's character.

And I made the same comments to my H about how he could possibly imagine that he is ready for a healthy relationship coming out of a 12 year relationship, but he doesn't seem to think it's a problem and clearly, neither does she. It is baffling.

Indeed. I know that mine wouldn't want to end up in another mess of a relationship, yet here he is stepping right into one and he can't even see it because of all the new love euphoria he's drowning in right now. Here's hoping it starts to wear off soon!

Also, in my case, I believe H is telling people that we "SPLIT UP" rather than that he left me. And I know he told OW that I was basically a controlling bitch, so she probably thinks she has saved him from some awful fate.

OMG I think you just nailed it on the head for me, the "split up" vs "he left". That's exactly what I'm worried about. Or that he's just told people, "we've separated" which makes it sound like a mutual thing, when it most definitely is not. And on some level I can't blame him for not broadcasting the actual facts, because then that just has more potential to make him look like a bastard who up and left his W.

I assume he hasn't told OW about any of my good qualities. She probably thinks she's doing him a massive favour.