I know sex is getting better for you. Does your wife... 'desire' you?
No, I wouldn’t say so, but then, I wouldn’t say she ever has. She’s too scared of rejection to let that slip out. There have been times when she seems to feel close to me, but I wouldn’t say I have ever seen desire from her. Nor do I expect to either. I have no illusions of ever having the romantic, intimate, soul-mate type of love affair with my wife… I want it and think about it often... but I’m ok where I am right now... at least for now... maybe one day.....
We still have a lot of work to do. She still holds on to a lot of her old defensive, self protective ideas, but she has learned to bite her tongue and to not control everything. She sees that life goes on and things work out ok. So that is a good foundation to build upon. She also seems to consider how I will react to things, which is a HUGE change from a few years ago... the beginnings of empathy... putting herself in my shoes... at times, though not all the time.
So I think it best to let this state just soak for a while. Let the both of us get comfortable with this new level of differentiation. She is also still new at her job and is trying to prove herself there, so she brings a lot of stress on herself. It will take a little longer for her to realize that no matter how hard she may try, things will always be there and won’t change much. She can work herself to the bone and it won’t make much difference, so better to focus on family and being happy. This is slowing coming to her. She sees some logic in this, but more time is needed.
