Honestly, when I try to picture you with someone else, I just see you being bored. There is something about MRS. HD's unavailability that just lights your fire.
In the world of healthy, wholesome, by-the-book sex, that would probably be seen as pathological and founded in low self-esteem.
I think you're going way overboard with this theory. I absolutely agree that power, aggression, selfishness, greed, lust and probably every other deadly sin can contribute to hot monkey sex but, IMO, a mature adult couple can act or play these themes out in bed without having to do them for real in their relationship. I knew the most lovely,loving nerdy couple (They both wore wool socks with Birkenstocks and thick-framed glasses) who were totally into S&M sexually. It's no different than playing King of the Castle or Doctor when you're a kid. I'm not even necessarily talking about full-blown fantasy play either. Just think about the moment in a sit-com when the wife turns to the husband and lowering her voice just a notch says "Come here tiger.". We all know what is going to happen next while we go to commercial break.
I wish I could do a better job explaining my perspective to you, HD. I feel for you so much with your thoughts about your daughter. I had to steel myself like you wouldn't believe to have "the talk" with my kids. You know that it's quite possible that if you do play this out the way that you know that it has to be played out you will have to have that talk with her. Just remember that it is quite possible that her response will be "Okay, can I have some ice cream now?". I'm not saying this to in any way devalue what you are trying to preserve but rather to indicate that it is possible that reality is or can be different than your current perspective is leading you to believe. For instance, not so long ago I felt like I was still sexually attracted to my STBX. Now I feel nothing or just a slight revulsion that I ever wanted to have sex with a man who was so frequently discourteous. What would you have, from your heart, advised me to do when my H said something as rude to me as what your W said to you? Be as much of a friend to yourself as you would be to me and do the same. Remember, we've all got your back.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
