Journey of a Happy Heart 2

[chaflo]

Nicola I just finished reading Qui a pique mon fromage.... I believe that all MLC H's and W's think someone hid or stole their cheese. Yet they fail to see that their M is still good and that they simply need to change your attitude towards it. Cause if you only change your spouse you will run into the same situation over and over and over again. Lache pas pense a toi premierement et avant tout!!! Tu merite d'etre heureuse!! Je pense a toi et t'envoie pleins d'energie positive!

[COG]

Nic,

Oh yes, he told me he's proud of the way I've acted through all this!

Well wait until he get's the bill. Nic I agree that you should'nt pussy foot around when there's an OW in the picture. He needs to know that's just not going to fly.

Moving forward with LS does not close the door. If you turn cold, sick your L on him, or cut off communcation then that closes the door. But you can stay strong, friendly, polite, yet not settle for less than what your entitled too. I think that keeps the door open for the miracle to happen.

I'm praying for courage, strength, and faith for you.

God Bless,

COG

[Jeff223]

I have to say that what RCR has written is good input. While I disagree with much of it given the way I read your history, it is a point of view to consider.

I am at the same point as you are in my R. I wish I knew what to say; I wish I had the answers. But I don’t. Standing or standing down are both so difficult and we can never know for sure that we are on the right path. I too read uncertainty in your words, but that is what I expect to read.

I will say one thing: legal separation has all the disadvantages of a D without any of the advantages. If we are to let go, do it completely. And I do believe that D is only a piece of paper so reconciliation is not ruled out. But it does provide closure; closure we need to move forward.

You are a good woman. You deserve to be happy. I hope you find that happiness.

[LisaLost]

Nicola,

I have just had a chance to catch up with you. I am so sorry about the issues you are dealing with now. You helped me so much when I was first here and I hate that your husband doesn't see what a wonderful woman you have become(always were). Like has been said by quite a few posters the choice is yours but I would def. protect myself financially. The ow really Nicola we both know she is a bandaid and you should try to not think about her as much as possible unless it is to say a prayer for her- She will need it.

I will be praying for you and your family

I do think often about you and I know this is so hard now

Love,
Lisa

[amd]

Just checking in on you Nicola. Sending you lots of positive vibes!

[I_Still_Love_Him]

Hey Nicola,
How are you doing? Know that I am thinking about you and sending you lots of love.
(((((Nicola)))))

[SvenTheRed]

Hi Nic,

I was getting a little caught up. Just want to send out some (((((HUGS))))).

I'd like to confirm what Laurie was telling you. When I dropped the Paul and Anne 180 on AWAW, at first she was relieved - seeming to know that I would be okay. But her relaxation caused me to allow feeling back in - which got me burned a couple times.

I was reading your NPD thread as well and man, the H is a humdinger.

Anyway, be confident in the decision you make and get the LS. I think when you ride that confidence, you will find a sound and happy place. I'll admit, I'm frustrated - you deserve better....

Love,

Sven

[lovingme]

Sending hugs to you {{{Nicola}}}

[always_14]

nicola, how have you been?

[princess_nic]

Dear friends,

Thank you for checking on me.

Sven-- I've been looking for your thread, but I don't think you have one anymore. Every now and then I see a post from you, but that's it. Thanks for remembering me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am not doing too well. I have been making it to work, but it's hard for me to concentrate on the things I have to do. I am forcing myself to eat, but again-it's hard and I'm not eating much. Still, I'm not as bad as I was 19 months ago, when H first left. I'm crying a lot, though.

Last night, he came over to watch the kids, and I told him I thought it was time to have a Sep agreement. He agreed with such seeming delight that I was really hurt. I didn't say anything about that.

We will try mediation first, and see how it goes. Then run what we come up with by our L's, so that they can approve the final document. I haven't decided yet if I want to go the route of LS or D. I originally thought just LS, but I'm thinking more and more that I really need to cut the ties here and move ahead. I just can't seem to let go, and I know that I need to do that.

My H seems like an intractable case. I know I could be wrong, and RCR, I thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. It is not healthy for me to be holding on the way I am. I truly believe that he will not come back to me. I don't think he has the courage to go through what it would take for us to make it work. Perhaps I am wrong, but I need to move on as if that is the case.

This is so much harder than I ever thought it would be. I just want to go to sleep and wake up when it's all over, when all my feelings are gone. I wish I didn't care. That's actually where I want to get to--the point that I just don't care.

I am not feeling well--I've been getting a lot of stomach aches. I'm going to go and lie down a bit before I pick up my son.

Love to all,
N