Welp, if anyone noticed... when HD got the email from Mrs. HD saying she could 'grit' her teeth through the sex... and HD, naturally, got disgusted by that mental image... that 'mental image of her gritting her teeth, created emotional distance between them.
And BOOM. Mrs. HD initiates more affection.
I completely understand what Fearless is trying to suggest to HD. Trying to get another person to want to meet your needs, willingly, with desire... is the exact opposite of what attractive behavior is. I've been telling the guys this for years (grumble, grumble grumble).
This is what I would do. I'd write Mrs. HD a little note back in response to this:
Quote:
I might be able to grit my teeth and force myself to do this if it's what you need to stay married. But it is not making love, just as cleaning the house is not making love, and it certainly won't make me feel very loved or loving toward you.
Mrs. HD:
Your kidding, right? What makes you think I'd want to ML, much less have sex, with a woman who feels she would have to grit her teeth to get through it?
You have stated your position very clearly on the matter. I appreciate your honesty.
HD.
And then I would go home and keep that mental image of her gritting her teeth burned into your mind, for it will give you the emotional fortitude and distance you need to give her what she is telling you she needs from you. That you would never dream, in a million years, of asking a woman to give you sex or make love with you in order for you to scratch an itch.
She wants to respect you. It is the biggest turn on there is. She needs to see your 'disgust' with her.
I'd go a little bit further with this, but I'll stop for now.
