When I was SAHM I took a lot of pride in it. The house was spotless, the clothes cleaned and the children WELL taken care of. All of my children were reading when they entered kindergarten. They are all gifted students and do very well in school. So I guess you can say I was very proud of the woman I was as a SAHM.
Ok, very admirable, but for and extremely insecure man, how does he fit into the family? Maybe he sees you as too successful? Maybe he would like to know that you need him?
I would always have his dinner cooked and everything was taken care of. I guess I thought that was my appreciation. He didn't have to lift a finger.
Two ways to take this. The confident man will be appreciative, be cause he has the self esteem to recognize and accept your gift to him. The insecure man might see this as just your duty to keep the workhorse fed and rested for another day at the mill. The difference comes in the connection he feels with you and the kids. That feeling depends on him and you.
In a sense when he was insistent about me working it kind of felt that he thought I was being lazy and what I did at home didn't matter at all.
I bet you let those thoughts be communicated to him too, right? That is your resentment spilling out from your need for validation.
He really started changing when I went to work. It angered me so much. Because I thought here I am working which is something he wanted and am doing everything else and he is acting like a jackazz.
Which is your justification for engaging in and continuing the power struggle (and yes, you really are in one).
