There are many ways to wage war. HD will find that MrsHD is not an opponent to dismiss lightly. Yes, he needs to confront her, but he also needs to keep his objective in sight. That means playing to strengths and weaknesses.
HD, I see your strengths in patience and tenacity. Correct me if I’m wrong, but do you also carry a lighter workload, so that you have more spare time? If so, this is another advantage.
For you wife, I see her as being overloaded and pushed to her limit. I think she can summon up more reserves if she goes into full battle mode, but she might not last long before breaking.
So you can escalate the fight and see who is the strongest, or your can just ramp it up a little and fight a battle of attrition. I think you have the upper hand on the later tactic. To me, that means keep up the pressure, don’t back down, but don’t necessarily escalate to a major fight either. Make her uncomfortable. Push her back to the wall, then let her sit there and rage. She will eventually tire. Unless she bails out of the marriage, which I doubt, then you can keep pressing for more counseling, more exploration of her fears, in writing and verbally.
She has already told you that she is getting tired of all this right? So what is SHE going to do if you just keep up this level of pressure? Have you noticed that is the one issue she has nicely dodged?
