Looking Up

[Heywyre]

Thanks COG - you actually brought tears to my eyes because you hit it dead on, that is exactly how I feel

And you are right, I need to stir things up a little. I took today off work because I just felt so sick and drained from all the emotional mess yesterday.

H went to work at midnight and asked me to call him when I got up - I didn't. He called me and asked if I was alright, I said "no, I'm not" - no more "it's ok I'll be fine" for me. He is going to know I am hurting, he is going to know this is NOT alright. He is going to know that he needs to start making an effort around here if he wants this to work. It can't all be on my shoulders. I've been too strong for too long, its his turn to pick up the slack now

He asked what I wanted to do (R wise) I told him we would talk about it when he got home because last night I told him if it was going to continue on like this, I couldn't do it anymore, we needed to be mature about it and try and deal with things as amicably as possible. He picked up that I was ready to pull the plug, and I am unless he starts making an effort.

Well, when he called this morning he said what he did yesterday was wrong and he knew I was still having problems with trust and he didn't blame me, but he reassured me that there was nothing going on with the OW (which was good to hear) - he also told me that maybe he wasn't doing enough to move this R forward (good conclusion Sherlock!) so perhaps a little light has gone off in his head, but the batteries are weak from what I can see. Unless he charges those batteries and has back-up ones for when they go low, he is going to lose the best thing that ever happened to him, ME!!

Thanks, once again COG for your support and prayers, I need all the help I can get and your words are very inspirational to me particularly today, God bless you