I don't know a lot about your sitch, but here's my gut reaction to your post. My initial reaction is to trust your instincts. It's not a good thing to spy, and such, but it's definately NOT OK for H to lie to you, especially after he's had an A. The foundation of a R is trust and friendship. So what kind of foundation is there when you can't trust the man, and how will his lying help rebuild that trust.
He should be able to just take a drive if he feels like it, but why does he feel he needs to lie about it. That's just not OK. He's busted and I would'nt be apologizing if I were you. There's just no place for lies in a good R and he needs to know that loud and clear.
And you don't need to apologize for calling OW either. He'll never know if you don't tell him because he does'nt talk to her anymore right? And even if he does know or finds out somehow, he better not bring it up.
Now I don't think you can prove he was with OW, and I don't think you should accuse him of that. But I think he needs to know how it feels when he lies to you. Like this, "H, I called you this morning because I had a strange feeling in my gut. Then when you were'nt there I........ That's all fine and good but what really hurt's is that you could'nt tell me the truth. You lied to me three times. It feels like somebody stuck a red hot knife in my chest. Like I just drank some drano, and want to vomit. I want to trust you again, I want to believe in you, but how can I when you lie to me? I will do all I can to trust you again. I will not keep tabs on you. I think it's great that you take a drive alone sometimes, I'll support that, it's fine. But please be honest with me. I promise I will work towards unconditional love, but please, be honest and truthful with me about everything."
I'm praying for you today.
God Bless,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
