Hmmm, NM - it's a conundrum, isn't it? Obviously the best place in the long run for you is to be near your family and in a big enough town that you can find work etc.

Some practical things to consider:
- school - yes, in an ideal world the kids would get to finish out the year. Still, yours are pretty young, right? Do they have cousins their age or close? Maybe getting to go to school with their cousins in the new town would take the sting out of moving.

- safety - if you really fear H going off the deep end and becoming abusive, you need to seriously consider whether you need to move somewhere sheltered or secret first. Do you think it would be safer if you engineered things so that H "thought" he was in control - ie, so he thought he was throwing you out rather than you were leaving? Oddly enough, it might be to your advantage for OW to move in right on the heels of your leaving.

- custody - if you move away, how will you feel about H coming and taking the kids away for a weekend of visitation? \:\( thought so. Talk to your lawyer about whether you have enough evidence to keep H from getting unsupervised visitation. If not, find out what you'd need and collect it. If you can get proof of his addiction (perhaps you can subpoena his pharmacy records from all the local pharmacies?) that might help. Ask the lawyer.

- taping - find out what laws apply in your state to taping calls, videotaping his behavior at home, etc. Illegal in some states, legal in others. Might just help you in a "he said she said" situation.

- rehab - is there any leverage to get him into rehab? Can you at least clue in his doctors to the prescription doctoring etc.?

Ellie