I would challenge you to find anything remotely brutal about any of the words I've exchanged with her.
You don't need to come out and say any harsh words TO her to make an impact on her. My H was the same way. Never said a harsh word but clearly was falling apart inside. And the words you write on this board HD clearly demonstrate your resentments and anger towards her. I'm sure she can feel that at home in your interactions, or lack thereof. But I think you are right, you are reaching your own breaking point right now and the tide is going to have to turn one way or another. Sorry she is battening down the hatches. LFL
