I'm wondering - do you see my participation in sex with you as part of my wifely responsibilities? If so, then let's call it sex, for that's what it is. I might be able to grit my teeth and force myself to do this if it's what you need to stay married. But it is not making love, just as cleaning the house is not making love, and it certainly won't make me feel very loved or loving toward you.
HD, the way she put this really sucks. I mean REALLY sucks, but the innate optimist in me sees an opening. It sounds to me like she is saying that if you regard it as "wifely duty" then it is just sex, not making love. Would a discussion regarding what she would perceive as making love be possible? I know you are hurting. I know it may not be possible to have this conversation with her now. It does sound like an avenue for discussion though.
----------- Balto, who (stealing HairDog's penchant for sig lines) always sees the positive in everyone's relationship but his own.
Gone the carvings and those who left their mark. Gone the kings and queens, now only the rats hold sway.
