Starting to really piece it back together

[Heartbroken]

Well I was really happy going to bed last nite H said that he should be away probably only one more month. I agreed to move back at the end of this month is too quick. But May 1st would be great!

But my happiness was dashed this morning already. I called him early - on his way to work and he said OW called last nite. Why he can't be honest and tell her we are reconciling is beyond me. H said he cannot be cruel - but I ended up telling him I feel her feelings are coming before mine. H just thinks she going to go away --she made it 6 whole days without contacting him - she's not just going to go away. Especially when they have a 20 min convo - how is she going to get his 'hints' when they are sooooo subtle...

I think H wants to test himself to make sure he is really over her. H keeps reassuring me that he is fine - but what he fails to realize is what this does to me and how deep it cuts...H says but I am with you - like I won the prize or something...This still all sucks when will it finally be better????