She just replied to my email from two weeks ago....
Well, like kikisum, I think this is good. At least she cares enough about things to read it, think about it, and respond to it.
Originally Posted By: StupidRomeo
"I think that it's important that you have worked to change your behavior. I'm sure that D will also benefit from it. I respect that you have worked really hard to change and better yourself. It's turned out to be very good for you."
And she's noticed this too!
Originally Posted By: StupidRomeo
"It's just at this point, I'm not ready to go back. Maybe that point will never come. Like your other email, maybe if it does you will already have moved on."
Notice the phrasing. It's not, "I won't go back", it's "I won't go back right now". Don't get your expectations all in a bunch, but this is another baby step forward. For now, file it away with the others.
Originally Posted By: StupidRomeo
"I'm willing to take that chance so that we can all live in peace."
Yeah...well...it's easier to say that when you think the other person hasn't moved on.
Originally Posted By: StupidRomeo
I still notice that you always talk about my issues. I'm really not running away from them. If you think I am, I feel that you're wrong on that account. I am also working hard to resolve a lot of things that have happened in my life. Both the things that I am and am not responsible for. I am addressing everything as best as I can. I see my counselor every other week and have since early fall. I've been doing remarkably well lately. However, you still continue to say that its 'my' issues as though of course, its still 'my' fault.
OK...so you've got your marching orders. Leave the topic of her issues alone (at least for now). If you believe her when she says she is working on them, then that should be sufficient for you and there is no need to point them out.
Originally Posted By: StupidRomeo
What can I say to her at this point? How should I reply? I wonder if that caused her to reply? I know I'm probably reading into it too much.
1 & 2. I'm not sure what you should say. Perhaps kikisum is right and you should say nothing. If you feel a response is absolutely naecessary, I'd keep it brief and use it to further disengage. Perhaps something along the lines of, "Back when I wrote that, I wasn't focused like I needed to be. I don't think you're running from your problems and I'm no longer running from mine. I'm at a good place right now and making steady progress. Thanks for taking the time to respond. I appreciate your willingness to share your thoughts with me."
3. Your letter got the ball rolling...but, as kikisum suggests, I think your detaching gave her the space to consider it and respond.
4. Yes, you probably are. Again, remember that it's the trend that counts...not any specific event.
