Well, I'd be the first to say I don't have all the answers. But I'll lend a hand if I can help you. My schedule is such that I'm often unavailable at regular times (which is why you'll see many of my posts in the wee hours of the morning) so that makes phone conversations impractical. But I prefer posting here for another reason...so that folks here can learn and benefit from the experiences of others such as yourself.
Conversations that occur outside this community deny its current (and future) members that opportunity. You have been the beneficiary of the exchanges that have happened in these forums so I hope you'll understand why I prefer not to go "off-line".
I have added your thread to my watch list and I'll jump in if I think I have something useful to say. Of course, you can always post something addressed directly to me and I'll respond. I usually try to check the forums several times a week. However, I try to give specific responses and often spend an hour or so on a thread as I craft a response...so obviously I don't respond to every post on every thread.
They say that the first step to solving your problem is recognizing you have one. The fact that you know you have them and what they are is such a huge step forward for you. You're doing the hard work and I think any time someone is willing to do that, there is hope. You have done grave damage to your M and the R with your W, but few things are irreversible so I believe you have reason for some hope.
