Looking Up

[Heywyre]

I desperately need some help - so if there is anyone out there that can give me some advice it would be truly appreciated.

Here's the scoop - we had a pretty good weekend. We had some friends visit and it was great, we went out to dinner etc. etc. and the whole weekend was wonderful. My H even seemed to be his old self again, complimenting me etc. - it was awesome

Then this morning, things just didn't seem to sit right with me (call it a 6th sense or whatever). He asked me to call him on my break (around 10) and I agreed. He gave me a kiss, told me ILY and off I went. I thought about it all the way to work and tried to remove it from my mind but couldn't. So, I thought "easy, I will just call him when I get to work and it will ease my mind". Well I called and there was no answer at home (only half an hour after I had left) so I called his cell (normally on his days off he goes back to bed for a little while). He said he had just picked up a coffee and was "going for a drive" before he headed off to the library. Well, now my radar was really up because Mondays are bad for me at the best of time (its his day off and he used to go visit OW every single one - a 2½ hour drive each way) - just plenty of time while wife is at work

So I called him at 10, like he asked, and he said he was just outside the library but he would call me when he got out. Now, I didn't think anything of it because one can lose 2-3 hours in a library, especially him. However, I didn't hear anything and called his cell around 12:15 (I only get a ½ hour lunch and he usually calls me) and I know this sounds paranoid but we have always done this (called each other) so it is not like I was checking up on him or anything. I was beginning to get worried because I still hadn't heard from him (and we had an issue with his meds over the weekend so I was even more concerned). Then I did something REALLY stupid (and I am waiting for the 2x4's to come flying). I phoned the OW and asked to speak to him. She, of course, pretending she didn't know what I was talking about blah blah blah and hung up. I called his cell and low and behold he answered. I tried to pretend like I wasn't upset and cheerfully said "I, how ya doing" - he said fine and then said (this was the kicker) "I was just going to call you, I just came out of the library". But that is where I lost it because (once again, bring on the 2x4's) I took extra time off at lunch and went to the library on my break and he wasn't there - and here he is 2 minutes later saying he had just come out of the library? So, #1 LIE !!! Then he says he is just a few minutes from home and is sorry I am so upset. He didn't want to tell me he went for a drive because I sounded upset this morning and he was concerned. So, I said "if you were so concerned, why didn't you come to see me at lunch instead of going for a drive? - No response. Then I say, ok I am sorry for freaking out and perhaps he can come meet me for a cup of tea. Well, no he can't because (LIE #2) he isn't "actually a few minutes from home" he's between home and (the next town) which is on the way to OW's house. Ok, I try not to freak and left it at that.

Please bear with me here

So, I go back to work, am way too upset and ask for the last 1½ hours off (it was granted - thank goodness) and call to say I am on my way home. I hear panic in his voice as he says "you're on your way home now?" I say yes, and he responds with, "well I am just a couple of minutes away, see you then". (LIE #3) he is no where near home because I call home a couple of times along the way (because I am delayed due a BIG accident) and didn't want him to worry - no answer at home. I continue to call a few extra times and then just go home - no H!! He arrives about 15 minutes after me - with a sheepish look on his face. Gives some longwinded lame story about going to the library, etc. etc. and that's when I lost it and said "you weren't at the library, I was just there". He got all defensive (of course) and said he couldn't live with me checking up on him all the time (which for the most part, I admit honestly I have been awesome about until today). He is still protective of his cell phone, won't let me see the visa bills etc. and says if I can't live with that then there is no point.

Opinions anyone?