Ah Koshka and FL, my faithful companions! Sometimes I feel like the 3 of us are the Three Muskateers! We joined around the same time, shared pain and anger and joy and revelations together...thanks for sticking by me, still, my favorite Martians!
In answers to your questions here goes:
1) I have zero R with SO's D16. And, to be honest, it is best that way. I will not be drawn into that 3 ring circus with her and her mother again. I don't plan on having any sort of R with her until she is 18 and will be expected to behave like an adult. I struggle with the way she treats SO these days, barely paying him any mind at all, let alone respect or affection. It is best that I keep my distance right now.
2) I don't see either my kids or the grandbabes nearly as often as I'd like. DD27 is attempting to file for D on her own, has a BF who has moved in with her. I hear from her if there are medical issues with DGS21 mo. I got to see him a couple of weeks ago and he was just wonderful. DGS20 mos is also doing well. DS24 and wife are doing well professionally and pretty busy. I'm planning on heading up there for a visit in a week or two.
3) R2 with SO is really quite wonderful and comforting and loving. We rarely have disagreements, and if we do, they certainly are short and low-key. Total 180 from R1. He has learned so much in the past year, and I really think he's learned a lot from reading this website/thread and my example. He knows how to use 180's, acting as if, and the 24 hour rule. For example, I was there on Fri & Sat evenings this past weekend. He was in a lousy mood. I sensed it, he admitted it, and we just kept things low-key. In the past, either of us being in a lousy mood would have been enough fuel to send us off to the races with a huge argument. I credit him so much for learning how to manage his moods now. He really is a wonderful, warm, loving and thoughtful man. He's been through a very hard period of growth the past couple of years, and I think he's starting to realize the pay-off, for both of us.
Update: I'm thinking of throwing my hat in the ring for a different job. It would still be with the U, but it's an Assoc. Director position, worth about $25k-$30k more per year. I think I have a pretty good shot at it, but it's outside of healthcare and into more of the public health arena. I've been struggling with my new boss the past couple of months, and I'm wondering if it's not a hint to "move on".
