WAW may want to come back

[25yearsmlc]

ddc,

Like W2, I can only hazard a guess. And wtf??? would occur to me as well if I were in your shoes. Check out stuff on "Piecing" together to get an idea of this roller coaster as well. I am in "piecing" and feel my M is on track now--BUT there are definitely mixed emotions about H b/c he hurt me so badly and the kids, etc. So my own roller coaster has just started, as I finally got off of H's roller coaster. ANYHOW, expect mixed emotions, yin and yang blah blah blah. BUT you say you have changed and so far, you do believe she has as well. Good. Also, you said YOU had hurt HER in the past, so what's up with "all the sacrifices" statement, if you had a big role in the D anyhow? I am just saying, couldn't SHE argue that she is afraid of getting hurt again too?

Last but not least, do NOT listen to the punitive friends you have. Most of my gf's would have already been divorced if they were in my shoes. Thank God I didn't listen to them. My sisters were smart/kind enough to say they'd support me either way, but the divorced sisters described in ugly detail, what a divorce REALLY means for someone with kids.

So here is what I asked myself, and now will ask you. Given your own changes and the new you, what do you have to lose by trying with the X?

What conditions would/should/could you put on a new R with her, and on yourself and on her? (Like how much disclosure--don't snoop no matter what--financial issues, etc.).

Do read up on the MLC b/c it does sound as if she had one, AND definitely read what BND (brandnewday) has said to me about taking the X back. It's very helpful.
good luck and

Remember that most of the people on this board, would LOVE to have your dilemma. Really. Remember to thank the Guy upstairs sometime...no matter what happens. You've been given a gift - the gift of choice. IF you do get back together you could be a model of reconciliation, forgiveness and commitment. Quite a legacy for your children someday, and the world. Either way, good luck.
j-