Very good advice, well taken. I know slow and steady, just look at my history. It's an ebb and flow. I'm staying very alert to her feelings. At the same time, this weekend was a statement! COG's coming out party. I've been immobile, now I'm on the move. So far the signs are positive.
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or is this referred to pursuit in the DB book?
Don't think so. I think pursuit is when your S is moving away, and you keep after them. Don't think that's your case or my case.
I definately see the need for flirting in my case. I have'nt done much at all the past five years. Her rejection always defeated my futile attempts, but no more! I can tell how out of shape I am in that department. It was pretty uncomfortable to flirt with her, it's been a very long time. But it worked out fine. I just have to make it part of the normal routine again, because I'm a natural born flirt.
One thing is for sure, I would'nt have tried this level of flirting with her two years ago. She would have stomped it dead right off. What is encouraging to me this time, is that she's allowing it, and actually played along with it a little. It's baby steps. Last night I could tell she was tired and not feeling very well so I backed off. Gave her some space and just asked her how her tummy was feeling and wished her a good nights sleep.
I really admire how you've figured out a way for you. You flirt a little, then wait for your H take over the alpha position. It's good that you understand what works for you, and are patient enough to wait for it. I will definately try to be as aware as you are in finding an approach that works. That's the ulitimate goal. It's not domination it's finding an approach that works!
Love,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
