first, B- all I can say to your comments is "Amen". I really do want a heartfelt apology and some genuine insight on his part, about how miuch he hurt me and our children and the M. Like you said, though, might not get one. Sometimes I think, "what the heck am I doing with him if he isn't "getting it"? But like you, I love my H, warts and all, and I do think it'll help d9 a lot to have us both in the same house getting along. Hopefully H won't spew about my not working outside the home again, which was his excuse for having to get the 6767th credential....blah blah blah. If I can get a job that helps people or is creative, I'm all over it.
VC, in a way you are right about the apologies. H was always pretty reluctant though not completely, to apologize for something. When he was sorry, or wanted to make up, He'd be affectionate and make peaceful overtures or gestures and yet not say anything. I am a "words" person and need to hear an apology OR something that tells me you won't hurt me again that way. H would see that I was still upset (talking now of the past in general) and act as if I was "holding onto my anger." Well, yeah I guess I was. But I honestly feel and believe that if I got the heartfelt regrets/recognition of whatever it was and it not happening again, I'd drop the matter. It's when you aren't sure that they really get it, when you fear that it means it could happen again at any time b/c to them, whatever it was just wasn't that big a deal....THAT"S when it's hard to just let it go.
I told my H the other day that when he says something about the past 2 years that indicates his regret, or that he wants to make up for lost time with the girls, IT HELPS!! H said, "really?" Me: Heck yes it helps. So I think he'll say that stuff more. Geez, how could it not help?
Gotta go and talk to the principal about why d9 is so late all the time. It's me and my disorganization and maybe depression. So hard to get up in the morning b/c I don't sleep well.
Thanks for posting guys- j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
