It does look like the rollercoaster is on a downward turn for a moment, but it will go back up again. And down again....
Sorry, you are having a bad time, I imagine it is hard to wait for him to decide the time is right for ML. Do you think putting pressure on him may make him back off, though? You are doing fine, really. You have NOT imagined the good bits, either. And you know it. It hasn't really been that long, has it? I know it seems like forever, but it hasn't. And at least you made up before he left and didn't leave any hard feelings for when he was gone.
I do honestly think you are doing well, it's just this being patient kinda gets the best of you at times.
