I have had a good weekend I have relaxed. \:\) That is quite an accomplishment for me!
I feel good and I feel like when my H gets home I can be ok. He is still in Mexico and he was suppoed to be traveling already but our truck is getting worked on.
My MIL was nice to me on the phone on Fri nite that to me was a shock. But I was just nice back. I dunno what brought that on?

Anyway.. I have been reminded of the OW the other day and I am doing ok with it.
I feel like I still need to heal some.
By me becoming this hot, sexy , self assured Woman. ( well at least in my mind , which is the most powerful weapon of all) I think is helping immensely and also it is my best revenge~ To not wither and be a prisoner to my pain,, the pain of what she and he did to me basically. I can choose to think @

~~~~IIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT ~~~~~~~
all the time and drown in self pity or~

I can take charge~
Listen to some John Legend, Mary J Blige some salsa music and feel better~
Keep eating " clean"~ ( and a few of my homemade chocolate chip cookies here and there too!!!)( for sure, I am only human ya know!)
Keep lifting weights~
Keep working on me~
Keep flirting with my H of 10 years~
Keep working on being healthy emotionally so my Libido gets strong again,, without some trust TRUE INTIMACY IS IMPOSSIBLE
Keep this up and I can stop thinking that B/C SHE WAS SIZE 00 AND 11 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME THAT FOR SOME STUPID God forsaken reason she is BETTER than me!!!!!!!! I have a body more like Jennifer Lopez... and after 5 kids I am trying to resurrect it to 100% sexy ability. ( with a few stretch marks )
I have stopped smoking too~ This was kind of hard but so far I have done it!
I am really focusing on who I am and my inner beauty~
I am smiling alot more now~
I am allowing myself to be human and not try to be this Super Woman anymore~
( who in the end is not so SUPER b/c she is too exhausted )

thru all of this I realized that I lost who I was and that is exactly who My H was looking for ......
I lost me by being a MOM and a WIFE and nothing more.
It seems so simple but it is hard not to get lost in that. We are taught since we are little that those roles are ever so important, but we are not taught so much that it is vital like air to be A WOMAN and embrace all that that entails. I for one am having fun being the Woman I should have been all this time.
Life is good..... I know I can do this I will keep working my
&*@ off to get there!
God bless...