Just had to have a nap b/c I took a Rivotril that just knocked me out. I can't believe I'm back to that again.

Anyway, I forgot to add something to the long post above.

I know that my H loved me at one time. I can still see the love in his eyes, and the spark that is now gone. That look has been gone for a few years now, but it was there for longer than he remembers I think. Only gone the last five years, and he's been out of the house for 1.5 of those.

He is not a monster. He may be messed up, as he says, or he may just have been really depressed. He may indeed have found someone with whom he can be happy. A woman who has skills I didn't, and now he has skills he didn't. I only wish it could be us. But if ever I say that (and I'm not in DB mode anymore, so I have), he gets angry. Maybe it makes him feel guilty. Anyway, I guess analyzing isn't going to get me anywhere. It doesn't matter. It's over for him, and it needs to be over for me.

Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself
My thread: Trusting God's Plan