Rob #7 - Night into Day (moving to Piecing)

[Rob1231]

Yes, there was an OM. You can read the whole lovely story if you follow the link to my sitch in my sig.

Some of the biggest lessons for me were:
- Both parties ALWAYS contributed to where you are today
- Rebuilding the R starts with friendship
- Lots of time and patience are essential
- Snooping always backfires
- Focus on yourself and GAL
- Trust and forgiveness are gifts you give yourself

Of course, that completely oversimplifies everything...

[theville]

Thanks Rob,

I have to stop snooping, it is killing me. Still seeing the calls.
It is hard to be her freind when she is still involved.

[Rob1231]

Hey everybody,

Well, I've been debating over joining the crowd in Memphis. Really wanted to do it, but didn't want it to cause big troubles with W. Not that I feel like she has the right to tell me not to go - but I still apply the "Will this get me closer to my goal?" criteria to lots of stuff, and if it caused her to get really defensive or something, that could be counterproductive.

Anyways, last night W was talking about all of the biz trips she has had this year, and the ones coming up (her job has really cranked into a mode of traveling a lot.) When she was done, I figured that was the perfect opportunity to bring it up.

I should mention, that I told W about these boards (without mentioning the name of the site) early in my sitch. She was actually jealous that I had people to confer with - she didn't have a similar board for whacked-out MLCers (and I wasn't gonna help her find one!) Haven't really mentioned it since then, not sure if she really had clued in that I am still "a regular" here.

So anyways, when I told her about the trip, she was a bit taken aback. I reassured her about it while leaving it a little mysterious (still a good thing, eh?) After she had time to chew on it a bit, I asked her if she was OK with me going. She said yes - she thought it was good for me to "get out and do things with new people more". (This has always been tough for me, although it's getting a lot easier over the past year or so, as I have been in school and then DBing.) It was really nice to hear her encouraging me to GAL - "getting it" why this was important to me.

That's a small load off of my mind. I already have a hotel reservation and show tickets, time to go nail down my flights...

Then I go home and celebrate D14 D15's birthday, one evening early due to scheduling madness. To paraphrase Julie the Inspired, it's gonna be a good evening!

[Jen_Jam]

Hi Rob ... just catching up. Glad to hear all is OK, I think you should still do the Memphis trip, W always wanted you to get out more, well now she has her wish. It's all about you, this trip, not her (if you know what I mean)

I'm so jealous too!!! Will have to call again!! And I do want to get over to the US, money is tight but how about New Orleans in 2008?

[Rob1231]

Just ordered my airline tickets. All is good.

Not sure about 2008 - will they have New Orleans rebuilt by then???

[sofaraway]

Rob, glad the W was understanding about coming here. Really looking forward to meeting you.

Ian

[inspiredjulie]

Me too... Ian, maybe you need to post an update of who all is coming. It's easy to lose track!

[Rob1231]

Interesting weekend. We have been talking about getting a new TV for a couple of years now, but have never gotten around to doing it due to the cost to get something really nice. A long time ago (pre-bomb) W mentioned maybe getting me one when I graduated from my MBA program.

At the same time, W and I have been working hard to get our debts paid off for the past year or so - still recovering from some major home improvement costs, etc. So, we had been talking about putting off any more big purchases until the end of the year.

Well, we were talking about this again over the past week or so, and I wondered aloud if I could get one as a combined birthday / graduation gift if I asked my parents to kick in (they like to spend too much on gifts!) W and I went out Saturday afternoon to just window-shop. Anyways, by the time the weekend was over, I was installing our new HDTV in our living room.

A couple of significant points here. First, W is putting aside her concerns about catching up on the finances to get something I would really like. Second, (maybe this is just my imagination), I never really got a birthday present from W last year - the day I was supposed to get it (several weeks after my birthday), I wound up getting a bomb instead! So, I kinda sorta wonder if part of what's going on here is W trying to make up for that a little. Not gonna put her on the spot and ask about that - but I like to think maybe that's part of what's going on.

Other than that, the weekend was pretty good, lots of hanging out and being friendly. Tonight, W is going out for drinks with another band mom that we met on the bowl trip - a good thing for her to develop more female friends, this has been one of her problems that led to the MLC in the first place.

Have a great week, everyone!

[care]

Yes, there was an OM. You can read the whole lovely story if you follow the link to my sitch in my sig.

Some of the biggest lessons for me were:
- Both parties ALWAYS contributed to where you are today
- Rebuilding the R starts with friendship
- Lots of time and patience are essential
- Snooping always backfires
- Focus on yourself and GAL
- Trust and forgiveness are gifts you give yourself

Of course, that completely oversimplifies everything...

It may be an oversimplicification to a degree, but still they are the basics. I am printing these out and posting them in my journal.
When we were out in Boston, Swashy said something to me that really hit home. I think this was at dinner when we tried to talk to you on the phone but it was impossible to hear anything. Scott said that those are in piecing, like you and Jen, are the ones that have stuck to the basics. I took that to heart and hope to 'meet' you in piecing one day.

[Rob1231]

Sometimes the trick isn't knowing what to do, it's DOING it!