I wish I could offer some fantastic words of wisdom to help here but I'm still struggling with this myself only not to the degree you are. We have made some progress on the intimacy side but like you it is all initiated by H although he has said I can kiss or hug him if I want it just doesn't feel natural being told what I am allowed and not allowed to do so I don't do any of it. I completely wait for him. I did broach the subject with H initially though during a conversation about the R that he started. I just said that I was happy with how things were going but would feel more secure if we had a normal H and W relationship. He then opened up a little and explained he needed to take things really slow and that it wasn't about fancying me. We now sleep in same bed and kiss and cuddle. That's after 2 months of sleeping in same bed. It seems this whole thing is just snails pace I'm afraid.
I can't remember how old your eldest is but think he was about same age as mine (2) and if so I don't think you sleeping in separate rooms will be an issue for him at the moment. Mine hasn't even really noticed that H left and came back because he saw him quite often still.
I know it hurts so much thinking they don't fancy you. We have had a major bust up today about the same thing. If it were me in your shoes I would bring the subject up again since it has been 2 months since you did but I don't want to advise you to do something and it cause a setback. His text reply that you make him really happy sounds like a really positive thing to me and maybe he is feeling more relaxed to be able to have a talk about where things are heading. It is difficult to judge I know. We have spent so long doing LRT and not doing R talk its difficult to know when to take a step towards a more normal R. What I mean is your R cannot stay like that forever. That is not normal to not be able to talk about things with your spouse as I'm sure I don't need to tell you. Maybe you could just ask where he sees things heading now that he is enjoying life with you and see what he says. I wish you loads of luck UL I really do. I know how scary it is to decide whether or not to say anything about how you feel. I have been pleasantly surprised by my H's reaction each time I have decided to say something and it does seem to have moved things on a little each time. Fingers crossed for you. IP
