I don't know squat. I can read and what I read is that your X is still going through the final stages of Her mlc, not yours. She doesn't trust herself, much less you. She does not want to relapse into the fog, and is concerned your aggressive attention may trigger trouble.
Forget that you had 20 years. You did not have 20 years with the person you just broke it off with. Did you expect her to be your everything, or a friend in a growning R? Were you behaving the same with her, as you are now with your X?
Remember, she is your X, not your W. She was MLC and has a track record for slipping away. It would take very little for her to decide this is too much too quick, and fog out on you. She sees she still has control over your emotions. That may be more pressure and responsibility than she wants.
My X told my sons as they were growing up and dating to be aloof, not clingy, the girls want what they can not have.
Nuff said, except for I have fingers crossed for you.
