Now Surviving Separation

[Heartbroken]

Yes, talk about books - literally 60-70....So many self help since H could not tell me what the real problems was for 8 mos - so was researching every path but infidelity!!! UGH! Now I am on my second fiction novel and it feels great! Though I am ready Dr. Laura's latest one too!! There is always room for improvement!

[mcojh]

HB-Can you jump over, I need your help...badly

[Heartbroken]

MC,

Your thread locked up so for now I will post here. For some reason a PA seems to bother men more than the EA with women its the opposite my H EA was WAY harder to get over than the PA. I was more hurt that they were now the 'best friends' and all the emotional stuff with it. The PA is out there but I really do not think about it - I can't or it will ruin my future with H. It's just sex - nothing more. SOunds trivial but that's how I have to take it to accept it.

I felt you were going to have a hard time with the PA and so did Theo - we could read it in your postings. After I found out about the PA I asked H if he even felt guilty the first time - he says "The Truth?, No - In my mind I WAS DONE WITH US..." So in order for him to go against his grain with such a deceitful act he had to believe we were over. I hate saying this to you but that's how H felt. But now look at where we are now - things do change. It's all about what you can handle and accept. My H wasn't my first or vice versa - I know he broke our sacred vows but that is a small piece of the whole picture in my mind I guess...

I am sorry you are here...I will check for a new link for you on Friday!

HB

[mcojh]

HB-Is there an e-mail address I can send you a question?

[Heartbroken]

[e-mail]

[2940831]

Heartbroken, you haven't posted in forever! I keep checking your thread to stay on top of what's going on with you... How are you? How are things going?

[Heartbroken]

Hey,

I kinda moved into the piecing forum (more updates there)- H wants me AGAIN - but we are taking it slow. I still am here checking on you guys and seeing where I can add input. My sitch has improved big time - but the trust and believing in H will take some time to come back. H has been in apt for a month (as of today) and he feels another month to get us in a better place. Ow has contacted him a few times but he does not miss her at all (compared to Jan. 'breakup'). We are taking it day by day - I miss him at home and just keep trying not to pressure him to come back - I know it needs to be on his timeline (again) but it sure is damn hard letting him control this....

[mcojh]

HB-

When you told your H to move out, how long was he home before moving? What was it like the last week or two, if there was a week or two?

[2940831]

Gotcha, Heartbroken. I found your new thread and will get caught up! Hang in there, and remember how far you've come. I'd give anything to be "healed" myself now and be ready for H to be willing to come home... Be proud of how far you've made it.

[Heartbroken]

I think you found the answer - but just to clarify. H told me of the OW 1/6/07 and said he would tell her goodbye and work on us. Well that goodbye lasted 2 wks or less (not really sure) and they were back to communicating. I did not for sure know they were back in contact until 2/19/07 and told him he had to go then. It took him 4 days to hook up with an apt. sad thing is it only took him 12 days out on his own to see he was making a mistake. He missed me, the kids, our home. But you see - he saw how much I had changed since Aug '06 - while he was still at home - and I made the changes w/o even knowing about the Ow so my changes were perhaps more valid because I did them for me and for us and for our family versus because of an OW threat. I can see how making changes and convincing our H they are real would be harder if we knew about the OW. You may have a harder time with your changes (from your H's perspective)...but hang in there!