I agree with what Nop says. IMO there are two sides to this bad-mouthing your ex issue. One is that the bad-mouthing is projection and a reflection of unresolved responsibility, a sign that dysfunction still exists and could be a problem later, as Lil has put forth. The other is that he says his wife is a b!tch because she was a b!tch, oure an simple. As long has he does not dwell on it and has worked through it, I see that as a healthy acceptance of the facts( maybe will a little bias too). But do you really want someone who is so diplomatic as to never say anything bad about their ex? If that ex was so great, why are they divorced. To me that is a red flag too.
Regarding you clothes, I say everything in moderation. You want to look younger, then dress younger, but don’t go over board and dress cheap. Don’t try too hard. Remember, you need to put your self in the shoes on those single men you are trying to attract. You will be compared to those they normally see. Too far off the scale and you will look like a hooker and possibly scare away the one you want. Too far the other way and you will look like a grandma, and scare off other men.
IMO, you need to dress how you feel, but you changing your clothes is not really for that purpose, is it? You are trying to find a man. Not long ago you felt the real you was to dress frumpy and comfortable. Was that the real you, or is the tight Old Navy outfit the real you?
The opinion of men on this board IS important for one reason only. You are trying to find your new direction and really don’t have a clue what that direction is, at least not yet. You will. But in the meantime, as you test out one form of validation after another, the opinion of men here might help you avoid a lot of heartache.
