Cemar

I posted else where about something else.

I wrote this else where about someone else, but it speaks to
your situation (and alot of HD men)

"His double bind is that " he demands to be desired " if someone
tells you that you have to or are obliged to do something its not
your desire."

Schnarch has a wonderfull understanding of the ability for humans
to give a meaning to sex. If you can only see sex as a proof of
your value and demand that you feel desirable then you are
going to be very unhappy. In that situation if someone follows
to your demands then they are only "doing it to make you happy"
, you want them to do it to make them happy. I know that you
want to feel desirable, we all do and the frustration of unexpresed
desires of your own don't help things at all.

Can you be happy? sure why not?
who stands in the way? your wife or you?