Can you guys please cut me some slack due to temporary poor mental health due to the fact that I've been separated for exactly 2 fairly nerve-wracking weeks at this point?
Sorry, Mojo, if my (our) comments hurt you. I hope it's obvious that I didn't mean to hurt you, and I apologize that I did. Your carefree tone was masking the nerve-wracking part-- that was worrying me a bit. Glad now to get a more complete picture. I was hoping a lot of what you were posting was your fantasies... but I wasn't sure, as your tone was so Out There.
But...
You knew that there was a "but"-- this is very good advice. Too much ex talk is not good... if you want to take that comment personally and get pi$$ed at me for saying it and the others for backing me up, so be it... but just take it to heart.
What Stig said is true:
Quote:
"If they bad-mouth/commiserate on what they lacked from their Xs... then they will say the same about you if/when the next one comes along."
You ARE going into this a bit naively, honey... and your heart is wide open. That's a good thing, but be prudent.
Just look at me as an example: I wind up with a raging alcoholic... and I WASN'T married to the same guy for 19 years... I've probably had more long-term relationships than anyone else here... and I'm the second oldest, AND I have an advanced degree in psychology AND I've read every frickin' relationship book ever written (practically), I've been to a zillion therapists over the last 30 years...but when I met bf, my judgment went totally out the window. I ended up with a guy who got drunk every night for 18 months before I figured out he was an alcoholic. Blind as a bat, I was. I SOOOOOO wanted the next relationship after my husband died to be the happy, love of my life relationship. I don't know where I went wrong. Even now, I don't.
It's just because we care about you and want you to be so much happier in the next LTR than you were in this one.
Keep your wits about you and please LET us keep giving you advice. Who else in your immediate Real Life circle is going to give you the gold-plated, loving, multiple pov advice that you get here?
