I'm guessing here, Lust, cuz NOP hasn't revealed his hand yet, but I'm thinking his theory may be just the OPPOSITE. That the lack of any need to work thru difficulty together as a couple, early on, led to poor coping mechanisms later, when the SL issues reared their heads?
Hmmm...it's an interesting premise. But I'd say that it probably will be unsupported by data. If you look at the research/literature on M, there is a clear correlation between having "baggage" and having increase in D rates. In fact, that is particularly true for Re-M's that bring children into the family. People with a histroy of one M tend to D at about a 50% rate. But people with 2 or more M's, (especially if there are step-children involved) D at a much higher rate, some say about 75% D rate with re-M. Any time you have more complications and stressors in the M, the D rates go up. So I'm not so sure about the idea of being able to work through a trauma together making you stronger. Sometimes that is the case but statistically, it doesn't ring true. In fact, I believe I read that only about 10% of people who actually S, ever make the M work in the end. So I'm proud of H and I for beating the odds. Actually anyone who can hold a first M together nowadays is pretty cool. Keep working Choco. LFL
