I'll play. I was separated with a pending D when H and I met. My 55ish Mother was undergoing cancer treatment with a poor prognosis. Sex and intimacy were issues almost from the get/go in the R. I thought it was me having unreasonable expectations or traumas remaining from a 10 year M that was fraught with many, major difficulties (substance abuse on ex-H's part, psychiatric illness, emotional/verbal abuse, employment issues etc...). All aspects of the "partnership" part of my new R worked exceptionally well, smoothly. This was new for me. I got personal counseling all along since the beginning of the separation.
1 yr into the dating another traumatic event arose, H's best friend died. Six months into grieving the lack of sex became an absolute crisis as we were engaged and I couldn't imagine a sexless M. We got couples counseling. Things improved. We married.
I don't have a sexless M. I have a low sex M. I have a M in which there are sexual famines punctuated by periods of adequate sexual sustenance. Once in a great while there are feasts. H is always able to name some series of "mini or major traumas of family life as the reason" - to me, this isn't the reason it is merely a way to take the attention off the issue. I don't plan to leave.
