Should I expose WAW's secret affair

[25yearsmlc]

Hey Hiscott,

just caught up on your sitch. It's a hard one, although on these bb's, it's not uncommon. Lots of M's survive affairs, as yours has done once before. But what is so great about your sitch is that you are looking at YOUR role in her A's' and you are not totally spewing anger at her, which many people would do in your sitch. You only have control over you, and seems you get that. Good. You are also not obsessing the way many of us did, wracking our brains trying to understand the WAS when they may not even understand themselves, and they are in transitions anyhow. We don't know which path they'll take. We only know that we have to GAL. First for US and then for our children, and then maybe for the R.

I have been married for over 25 years. Even though the idea of losing H now still feels like losing an organ, I know I will survive. But the thing is, we don't know if the organ we are losing is indispensable. The truth is that as bad as your pain is, it won't kill you and it won't last forever. Not to minimize it Hiscott. God I really get how you are feeling. But back off and do the DB stuff. It works. It WILL help YOU no matter what happens to the M, and it is the BEST chance of helping the M anyhow. FWIW, I don't have "proof" of a connection, but when I finally detached from H some months back, it coincided with his awakening. There were other factors in the timing, but it does strike me as significant. And I'd give us 60/40 now, as opposed to 1 in 10 like last year...just hang in there and DO the program. You are in the right place, and don't forget the kids needs are higher now than ever before. I read that the worst thing for the kids is when the LBSer sort of checks out, gets needier and depressed, and the kids really lose both parents for awhile. Don't let your kids get temporarily orphaned. Be there for them and it help you get through all this too. good luck, keep posting. SORRY for you finding out about the A. I know it hurts. (((hugs))))
j-