Valentines day massacre

[outtaluck]

Thanks LN, I do have the db and dr books. Finished DR first day...I get alot of what it says....sometimes I wonder if she says I wasn't there for her...she felt like a single parent kind of thing (which I don't see...I was at every school function....read to the kids...taught em my nintendo moves...thought we had a great relationship till they hit teens and got boyfriends...kinda feel like lost a little, figured that was teenage kind of stuff...growing more independant...but my door is always open, y'know? ) Where was I...yeah, if I wasn't there for her and I detatch, am I making what went wrong worse??

I have left the DR book out but it was under a blanket and she moved blanket, so she knows I'm reading but I don't think she cracked it open.

I wasn't exactly faking happiness...really felt kinda good...may have just exagerated it a bit :-)

The kids seem ok..they got BF's and are always on the run so its hard to connect....there is no set dinner time anymore...they just eat whenever they are here and head to their rooms. They know whats going on because she talked to them....wouldn't doubt badmouthed me at that. I do find it hard to talk to them about this....makes me feel like the failure of a father that she says I am. She doesn't really connect with them anymore either but she gives them rides at least in her car which is more than I can even offer...

Anyway, W brought back the car...guess she got ride to the bars...at least I don't have to worry about her so much crashing the car...and I can take it to work instead of bike :-) Its still snowing!!!

Thank you LN and all others for your responses...it really means so much to me right now to have a place to empty my messed up head and get such helpful feedback.