Try to sort self pity from fear. They both hurt. They both have to be dealt with. But not together. Fix life one problem at a time.
I say start with fear cuz the self pity is more an illusion. After dealing with the fear, see if any self pity remains.
Your W and OM are not the first to crack the ozone. If by some chance she was able to strike up a R with him, which one would you bet on to screw it up first? One of them will. They are both rebounding from emotional turmoil and have no busincess starting a new life with anyone ... much less their evil twin.
Compensate for not being a rock star by being a genuine person and father for your kids. I got a 19 yr old that just thinks being dead would be easier and better than living. I am really struggling with him. You think that playing a piano, practicing law, riding a Harley makes up for not being completely in the present moment for a child in pain?
How will your W be there emotionally for the kids from another state, overwhelmed with her new career and social schedule? My son said some things last night about me, our R, and the only things making his struggle worth it for now. He did not mention his mother.
You take care of yourself, and those kids, and let life take care of your wife. That is all you can do for her. Everything else you do must be for yourself and then the kids.
