So both of your posts wring of building sexual tension, anticipation, like I'm candy behind the glass. I get it, but I'm not very good at it. More like the kid outside the candy counter glass drooling all over himself. So I can see I've got work to do. I've got an e-book to read, plus I've got an attitude. No fear!
That's the real key: No Fear. YOu do NOT care if she rejects you. IN fact, WHEN she rejects you you eat it up!
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I listened to the first two Chapters of For Men Only. OMG, I realized I'm a chick! Somehow our roles have reversed and I'm a woman. I like to talk about R, I like to be pursued, yuck!! I've gotta turn that around.
ok, now I have to come clean. I've followed your posts for a long time and I have often said to myself "why did she come back? this guy seems like he catered to her and was a suck up to her. That's not what she needs"
Did she come back because he was simply 'there', as a constant in her life? Yes, he changed himself quite a bit, and she changed too. Why though, did she come back yet is not able to be intimate?
Which is why I started to push you to work the attraction side of the relationship harder.
You need to become DESIRABLE, and for women that means be a MAN. I think YOU ARE GETTING IT NOW.
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Also, book talks about how important it is for W to feel secure in the R. So last night before sleep I told W how much I appreciate every she does for me, how much I love her, and that everything is going to be alright with us. Just like the book said. She layed there without much emotion and started to say something but stopped. So I asked her what she was thinking.
Good call. And I see you got a response...
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Asked me why I was so sure things would be alright. So I took that as she's looking for security. So I explained that I'm just an optimistic guy, and that we've come so far together, looking back two years it's night and day. I just expect that trend to continue.
No more punches being pulled by me any more. So....
WUUUSSSSSSSS!!!!!!
What kind of response is that from a 'take charge' guy? Oh, oh, I'm just OPTIMISTIC.
How about "Because I intend on sweeping you off your feet until you are begging me to stay home and pleasure you".
or "Because I intend on having a fun exciting and fulfilling life with you and nothing will stop me from making that happen."
or (with a sly, bad boy attitude) "Because I never lose and I'm always right!"
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I also told her that I was healed, and that I could go live on my own anytime and I'd be OK. I'll have a fulfilling life, with or without somebody who loves me intimately.
Oh my. If you feel you MUST 'let her know you are ok without her' then perhaps you might try this (in 'bad boy' mode) : "Listen Babe, if you successfully resist my charming and witty self then I know there are other women who will be glad to surrender to me!" and you get in her face and look her in the eyes with a sly smile when you say this.
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She actually said maybe we need to try something different than what we've been doing. I don't know what that is but it was her idea.
Man! She is telling you what to do an YOU DON'T KNOW? She wants you to lead, and to keep doing what you have been doing!
Remember, "questions are statements and statements are questions" She says "TRY something different that what we have been doing". Duh, she knows that what you HAVE been doing, being mr nice nice all the time, doesn't work for her. She wants that Man.
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Is this Chick speak for "I want you to pursue me more"? Which of course I will pursue less then to build more tension.
Almost! Don't pursue less, do the build tension stuff. Get in her face, give her the teases and then WALK AWAY.
When was the last time you walked up to her, grabbed her around the waist with one hand, pulled her toward you so you were nose to nose, looked her RIGHT IN THE EYES then said "I know you want me to ravish your body, I just don't have time right now. Perhaps later".
Then smile, pause, let her go and walk away.
And don't bring it up later. Maybe you see her a little later and make eye contact, give her a 'knowing grin and a wink...'
An-ti-ci-pa-tion.
Think about every 'romantic' movie you've ever seen. They don't make this stuff up. 'Real men' make a woman work for it. And women like that anticipation.
I think you continue to 'give her her space' and walk on eggshells when it comes to SEX. Maybe when you start acting like she TURNS YOU ON she will feel desired. Maybe when you start acting like YOU are desirable she will desire YOU.
And no, that doesn't mean groping her or rubbing up against her, it means what I have said earlier - using words, humor and innuendo to build that tension.
If she doesn't wet herself after you start doing these things then she must be dead!
By the way I do these kinds of things to my wife. She goes through a lot of underwear.
