And I can see where if the guy is the FIRST one to introduce sexual innuendo, it might seem too pushy and forward.
For me, it would not be that it is too pushy, but that it might paint me in a bad light as only wanting sex. This is where the feminist dogma really rings in a man’s ears, IMO. Since you are dealing with an unknown, what is going to be the man’s default assumption? He goes with what he has heard repeated by women again and again, that women want to be respected for who they are and not just a sexual object.
On the one hand, I think it's up to the woman to send the subtle message that a sexual reference would be well-received.
Therefore, if the woman puts out the first teaser, in a tasteful, subtle, indirect way, the message can come across without it sounding crass or cheap. It is sort of like the traditional rules of shaking hands. A man does not offer his hand to a woman first. She must offer to shake hands, then he reciprocates. (In the business world this has become lost.)
Just bear in mind, Mojo, you don't want to WONDER if he's really into you. You want him to stick his neck out and take the risk. You deserve to have the guy take a risk for you.
I agree with this but not because the man needs to demonstrate his ability to take a risk. You should assume that he will, which will prompt him to do just that. If you assume otherwise, he will sense it.
Mojo, I think your bigger risk is pushing too hard to get a man to validate you, which may come across as needy, clingy, suffocating. You might also be skirting an early rule IMO, which is to not put the sex issue on the table too soon as to possibly put him on the spot and cause him to feel that he now has to “top her top.” That might not be a problem for him, but is this the way you want a new relationship to go.
Also, I think you get WAAAAY too caught up in fantasy. From this man’s perspective, step back and look at what he sees. He finds someone to correspond with him via email. Did you send him a picture? Did he send you one? I don’t know that it really matters either way, because he is still going to wonder why this person in cyberspace is suddenly making intimations of having sex with him and he has not even met you yet. The advice that Lil gives you, that meeting in real life gives a whole different impression may not seem important to you right now, it might to him.
He could be considering just what it is he is getting into at this point. For a purely sexual love ‘em and leave ‘em approach, maybe there is no problem. But if he wants to form a long lasting, sincere relationship, he might be having some doubts.
