URGH!!! I am sooooooo mad!!! Excuse me if I ramble on, but I need to vent! I 'ts been a while since I posted. Breif recap: married 9yrs, m-37 h-36 3 kids 5,6 & 9yrs. Found out about other OW 9/06. H still lives at home even though in the begining said he was "done" and drafted D papers but never went thru w/ it. I guess his head is so far up his GF as#@$%$ that he can't even remeber to pick up his kids from daycare the ONE time I needed him to b/c i was taken my mother out of town..thank God it's a 24hr one, but still the kids had beeen up all day since 5 in the morning when i had top leave to work before i went out of town. I asked him if he had forgotten and ofcourse he will not admit to that if he did. I tore him another as@# last nite and I haven't let it out like that in such a long time I guess it all just came crumbling down last nite:( Right now I'm in a numb mode, kinda like I don't want to try anymore even though H was doing some progress and I was questioning to myself if he was still seeing her.
I was so mad that H did not call his sister until 7:30 to tell her that LIE- he was just getting off work. H never gets off that late! His sis had to pick them up. So the kids went to bed late and this morning I had a heck of a time trying to wake them up!!
Do they see how this effects their kids? Do they even care? When do they ever get a glimpse of what they r doing?
I am getting really tired of this and I was doing so good, detaching and all so much that H now thinks I am seeing someone too. I am feeling like I just want to be alone now especially since I can't count on him for anything. For the next two weeks I will have to be out of town at least one day of the week and I don't want to have to worry about my whether or not my absent minded H will pick them up! God has given me so much strength and patience,but today I think I am at my all time low..help! The other day when he look at me right in the face and said he did not like me and was waitng for a response and then said " show me your long face", something (God) whispered in my ear as clear as can be- don't worry this is the enemy talking! And I could almost see the Devil in his eyes!!!
It only took ONE time when H put OW ahead of the kids when he tool her to a ritzy hotel last summer.
The kids were at summer camp and H told them to call him when they got back on a Saturday, and that he would pick them up on Sunday and take them to lunch, etc.
He was not answering his phone, stood them up, etc.
Then I got a survey in the mail asking if the king size bed at X hotel was comfortable, etc.
I ripped him one for doing this to his kids. I think he was shocked that I knew so much about that weekend right down to the cost of food and the cost for the room, etc.
He never did that again.
I think last summer was the height of his "space cadet" days.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
My six year old told me the other day as she was looking at an old picture of my H and I, "mommy you and daddy look like you love each other in this picture". That broke my heart. Nothing slips by these little ones right?
Did your H ever confess about feeling bad about the kids?
God I want to get away this weekend. I really do not want to be in the same house w/ him. I really think I and we would be better of if he did not live in the same house.
chicki--I bet you just wanted to die when your child said that!!
My H said to my cousin back in December that he could not live without his kids and that it is killing him.
Well, he is still at OW's.
You want to get away this weekend--me too--it is 101 degrees here and it is too early for that.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
My D2 turned round the other day and said that she was sad because she had lost daddy and that she wanted daddy to live in her house. It broke my heart to hear her say this, i thought she was too young to understand but she understands more than i think.
Nicky
Me 34 H 33 D3 together 10 years married 2 years Bomb 22/8/06 (I feel empty) OW involved
Steelersfan, Yes, I wanted to die! It hurt me so much and only proved that nothing gets by them.
Hey! Everyone let me tell you what happened this morning....I could only laugh(I know bad bad..) last night was the first night in a while that my H came home a late and when he came in he was hopping on one foot and complaining that it hurts, but doesn't know why it feels like a strain.He said it had been hurting all weekend, but would not complain b/c he would get no sympathy hm.. how easily he forgot I nursed his pulled back when we were on xmas vacation. Well this morning I thought I'd be nice and try to include him on my weekend plans only to have him shoot me down AGAIN by saying he would like to alone w/out me and he would spend it w/ his GF. Well..my bad bad self came out (this on IM) and I told him that he should stop "doing it" in his truck b/c he will keep on hurting his leg due to no leg room! Ha Ha! His response- fu@## you! HA!
Later I emailed him a lengthy letter saying how I feel like I have grown and matured in our R, but he was only going BACK in time by living the single bar hopping and one nite stands kida life. I said I understood the emptiness he feels inside and that only one person can feel that hole- Christ! I wished him no evil, but that if he had to hit rock bottom to see the hurt he's caused, then so be it. Also, that I still felt love for him only b/c the Good Lord reminds when he hurts me w/ hateful words that he is only so wrapped up by the Enemy, so much that I can almost see Satan in his eyes! I told him I wish someday he will turn his heart to God and then will he experince how good life can be full of joy, peace and strength. I said that it hurts the girls when he disrespects me infront of them and they don't understand. I asked him not to show his ugly side to them b/c they love him so and we are their role models. His disappearing acts only cause unstability and it rocks there world.
I don't know if he is truly in MLC or just depressed.
oh and like you dont want to say anything yourself? you just want me to be the bad guy and give her [censored] and then you will come over here in your sweet chica way and smooth it all over. i know your type.
